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PDA'ers are like a rubber band, and there is only so much stretch in a day. Overstretching one day leads to less stretch the next, and the next, and it’s cumulative. The more we're forced to exceed our capacity in a variety of ways, the smaller our capacity gets. Sometimes all the stretch we have for the day is used up in one place, and there is nothing left for anywhere else. So maybe a child seems to do well in school, but they fall apart when they get home, and we get rest

Instead of thinking “What is this child doing wrong?” “What behavior needs correction?” “I should give them information about what I...

Sometimes, equalizing behavior for PDA'ers can manifest in what I think of as “impossible demands.”  This is when the child (or adult!)...

One of the first things I like to talk about in coaching sessions is to challenge my clients to shift to verbally reflecting the child's...

Your needs as a parent, teacher, spouse, friend–your needs matter too, and it is okay to say no!  But how we say no can be the difference...

One way we can proactively equalize is by pretending to be confused, startled, exasperated, outraged, embarrassed, etc, but playfully,...

Regardless of neurotype, most adults “level against” other people consistently, in largely unconscious ways.   PDA'ers tend to be...

When my kids were 12 and 15, we were approved to become an unrestricted foster home for teens 12 and up through DCF.  When we received...

When I discovered Parent Effectiveness Training in 2016, a collaborative parenting system founded by Thomas Gordon (at around the same...

What decisions do we really need to make for our kids? So many decisions we think are necessary as parents are in actuality fear based:...

Levers of Control include: blame, shame, judgment, praise, questioning, ordering, advice, lecturing, disagreeing, teasing, sarcasm, etc...

When we see through an autonomy focused lens, most interactions with children provide opportunities to help them either co-regulate or...